Life. Moves. On.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life...it goes on."- Robert Frost

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Growing Older

Posted on April 8, 2019 at 12:10 PM Comments comments (0)

One thing that I, you, we tend to be guilty of is shaming ourselves for turning a year older- especially women. You hear it all the time, “Don’t ask a woman her age.” But, why? Each year is something to celebrate and be proud of. I think the greatest reason we don’t celebrate is often because we associate age with accomplishments or lack thereof. “I want to be married, have kids, own a home, retire by, etc.” We put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve dreams, but the beauty of a dream is that there’s no expiration date on them. Remember, you’re allowed to reach your faith, calling, passion, meet your love, have children at the time destiny has for you. Maybe you have more to learn, more to see, and more to grow. Trust the timing of your life and let go and watch how many more things will come your way. Keep on keeping on and move forward with confidence and grace. It will come to you in due time. Promise. Chin up, Queen. You got this.


 

 

Clarity

Posted on April 8, 2019 at 12:10 PM Comments comments (0)

I once read somewhere, “Yeah, you’re attractive, but are you good for my mental health?”


 

That resonated with me because it is difficult to see toxicity in your life until you step back and remove yourself from the space, environment, person, or feeling causing it.

 

I recently sat down to reflect with a follower on her journey and where she’s been. She has been single for some time now and she feels that she has become so independent, fearing letting her walls down again- that she will never know true love. I disagreed, because I was once her.

 

I was once the woman who was unphased by words, gifts, and any form of expression that symbolized someone was interested in me. The greatest memory I have of when this occurred was roughly 3-4 years ago when I was surprised at work with a Valentine surprise- chocolate covered strawberries. Nothing. It did nothing for me. In fact, I gave them away to my colleagues and trashed the card that came with it.

 

That’s not what I was looking for and not what I wanted nor needed. After realizing I had pushed myself into a place where I could care less to find love is the moment where I found it. That’s right- I found a stronger, greater, and more than necessary kind of love when I was least expecting it.

 

This self-love was something I never knew, but it was the kind of love no one or no thing could ever bring me. That same self-love lead me to meeting my boyfriend, Steven. When our paths crossed in 2017, I was in a place that I had never been in before and that was knowing who I was, what I wanted, and more importantly, what my soul needed.

 

That’s the thing about giving yourself time to heal, time to grow, time to feel. You connect with your spirit and soul and realize that not all things entering it will fuel it, so be picky. The reality is that you’ll never really see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresher air. You’re beautiful, my dear. Allow yourself to heal... whatever that looks like for you.

Greener on your side

Posted on April 8, 2019 at 12:10 PM Comments comments (0)


"You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you take the time to water your own grass....it would be just as green." Learn to appreciate what you’ve got, compare less, and value what you’ve got more. In your relationships, personal development, and life... spend your energy focusing on your own side and you’ll soon realize you, too, can have a garden of wonders. 

Sea Breeze

Posted on April 1, 2019 at 12:35 PM Comments comments (0)


I received an email last week from a follower who was having trouble dating. Her problem wasn't that she couldn't find anyone, but that for the life of her, she couldn't let people in. After exchanging a few emails, I realized what could possibly be the "problem." She had her guard up. She'd been hurt before and after knowing what it felt like to be broken before, she was always careful to avoid coming close to it again. Instead of taking chances and risking drowning in love, she chose to stay near the shore... where the tides are low, “safe,” and she can feel the sand beneath her feet. I think that it's easy to stay close to what we know and that's why we tend to repeat our mistakes, no matter how we much try to avoid them. It's easier to play with what we know than to explore something new. She felt worried that she may have lost out on good people because of her fear of getting hurt. I could tell she may have been close to loving again before, but something always led her to slip it like grains of sand through her hands. I think it's okay to be a careful person, but not at the expense of growing. Heartache, experience, and lessons are merely stepping stones that shape us to who we are to become. A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing grows from there. You grow most in the times that you feel the least amount of comfort. Swim away from the shore, my dear. The world is out there and it’s big and it’s unpredictable, but life is beautiful and worth you trying again. Always give love a chance to win. #comfort #therapy #water

Looking Back.

Posted on April 1, 2019 at 12:35 PM Comments comments (0)



They say that, “Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having NOTHING happen at all or by having EVERYTHING happen all at once.” It’s true; you don’t know how strong you are till being strong is your only option. Unfortunately, shitty people do shitty things. You can let a situation break you or choose to let it help you grow and rise above. The only way to move on from a hurtful situation without bitterness and anger is to understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer NEED to feel it. Over the years, I have realized how precious time and is how so many things such as people, past circumstances, and fear can rob us from blooming. Looking back, people have wronged me. Even when I was in my darkest days and felt incredibly sad, something told me to trust the journey and that meant chasing the little light at the end of the tunnel that was left. Sometimes it’s so damn hard to see, but you have to hold on for life to that little bit of hope left. Even if it’s a fraction of how you feel... hold on to it. I did and believed in things coming full-circle, because they always do. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but they will. When they do, the light at the end of the tunnel will never have been clear. You just have to keep moving forward until things in the rear view mirror no longer serve you. Live life in full bloom, my dear. Never stop growing.

Thank you, Next.

Posted on April 1, 2019 at 12:35 PM Comments comments (0)

Do you ever stop and wonder, “How the f*^k did I get through what I got through?” Surprisingly, most people don’t ask themselves that. I wish more did. I wish we stopped and looked back a bit more. Not because the past should be holding you down, but rather... the opposite. I’m not afraid of looking back on my past. I thrive off of it. I know what I’ve endured and why it has made me who I am today. I know that everything that’s ever happened to me, good or bad, was never to hurt me- but to allow me to stand tall today. I am who I am because of my past, but I’ll never allow myself to become a victim to it. I’ve battled sadness, self-doubt, fear, anxiety, comparison, defeat, and most of all, realizing I don’t have to be anyone but me. I was born in the U.S., but raised by immigrants and a lot of who I am is because of them. I was voted “Best all around” my senior year in high school- it caused more bad than good. I put unnecessary pressure on myself in thinking I had to maintain an “image” of what that meant in the eyes of others. I was in a long distance relationship that resulted in trying to save someone who didn’t want to be saved.




I had people I thought were “friends” teach me by taking advantage of my kindness what a real friend is. I’ve lost myself, found myself, and am constantly working on deciding what and who I want to be. But one thing that is different about the girl you see here today vs. the one say 5, 7 and even 10 years ago is that she’s proud of where she’s been, where I am, and where I am going and that has always been enough. No one is going to come and love you until you know that YOU, with all your flaws and fears and challenges are damn perfect. Own you, my love. Because at the end of the day, your voice is the loudest amongst any crowd. So, thank you to all those who’ve wronged me. I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you, next.

Chin Up.

Posted on April 1, 2019 at 12:30 PM Comments comments (0)


One thing that I, you, we tend to be guilty of is shaming ourselves for turning a year older- especially women. You hear it all the time, “Don’t ask a woman her age.” But, why? Each year is something to celebrate and be proud of. I think the greatest reason we don’t celebrate is often because we associate age with accomplishments or lack thereof. “I want to be married, have kids, own a home, retire by, etc.” We put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve dreams, but the beauty of a dream is that there’s no expiration date on them. Remember, you’re allowed to reach your faith, calling, passion, meet your love, have children at the time destiny has for you. Maybe you have more to learn, more to see, and more to grow. Trust the timing of your life and let go and watch how many more things will come your way. Keep on keeping on and move forward with confidence and grace.�� It will come to you in due time. Promise. Chin up, Queen. You got this.

Can't Half-Ass Love

Posted on February 11, 2019 at 11:25 AM Comments comments (0)

I read somewhere yesterday, “Does true love still exist?” Love is something that will always be self-defined and we all see it differently. No two people will view, understand, see, hear, or feel love the same. As beautiful as that it, I think it is also what causes many problems. Realizing that not everyone will accept your kind of love or that they’ll show appreciation of it how you’d like is an important piece of the puzzle. We’re not made to love the same and if we realize this, we will be better off. But, to me, love is the idea of accepting, wanting, caring, and desiring someone without condition. This is knowing that at any point in time, things may change but rather than fear this- you put your heart on the line and give it your all. You can’t half-ass love and that’s the only truth I’ve come to know.

Keep it Up.

Posted on February 8, 2019 at 11:25 AM Comments comments (0)



I’m not the type of person that really cringes when she sees old pictures of herself in the past. It actually makes me happy to realize in just a few short years, how much we, things, life can change. I went to bed last night listening to a meditation that reminded me that nothing in life is permanent and things can change in a blink of an eye. This is so important to remember when going through a tough time. Remembering that this too, shall past. A couple days ago, my boyfriend and I were going through my old photos I’ve taken in the month of February- laughing, especially pictures of me as a blonde. This picture popped up and I shared with him a little about what the picture was and together we laughed and continued looking at others. This photo was taken on February 8, 2015- just 4 years ago from today. On paper, it sounds not too long ago but in perspective and realization of who I was then, it’s a lifetime for me. You see, this photo is of me and a guy my friends basically set me up with. On paper, he had all the things I’d consider “good.” He had a career as a chiropractor, he made me feel beautiful, and desired. He even delivered Valentine’s Day strawberries to my office. Despite all these things that would make a girl feel ecstatic to pursue this possibility, it didn’t for me. Because these things aren’t enough to make relationships last and I learned that not long before this. I wasn’t ready to date, but I also knew that all this would do for me was kill time and take away from what I really needed to focus on and that was me, myself and I. This didn’t last long. Maybe 2 months max and got as far as a kiss on the cheek. I don’t like to drag things on when I know in my heart it’s not for me. Exactly 14 days after, on the next photo, is me- alone, happy and helping kids run at the beach. The reality of growth is that you’re never done. It’s indefinite and you keep learning and becoming different versions of you and my hope is that whether you’re on this chapter now, you remember that all good things come with time. Don’t be afraid to give up the mundane for something greater- and that may just simply be you, smiling, alone.


Many moons ago

Posted on January 17, 2019 at 2:20 AM Comments comments (0)

Many moons ago, it was difficult for me to travel. My body would respond with anxiety, stress, and fear. This resulted in never feeling good about going or being there. What should have always felt like a “vacation,” simply was work. It wasn’t until I realized it was never the trips that caused this feeling, rather the people I was going on them with to cause me to feel this way. I never felt for the lack of a better word, safe. It’s easy to have ptsd after bad experiences, like the fear of dating or even falling in love again after having your heart broken. You build walls so high to protect yourself that you don’t know how they’ll ever be broken down. It’s not overnight, but in the midst of all the bricks you build you’ll realize that you’ve got nothing to lose and that simple realization is what frees you from the fear. The beauty of life is that sometimes it brings you full CIRCLE to a place you have been before just to show you how much you have grown. No matter how many "how we met" stories I hear, or how many love stories get written, ours will always be one of my favorites... simply for the reason that my heart was hidden behind a wall only a real man could climb. Find someone who looks at you like you are magic & knows you’re worth the wait.