|Posted on January 17, 2019 at 2:20 AM||comments (0)|
One of the most common questions I am asked through email or DM on my blog, @lifemoveson21 is, “ ?” If we only knew how many people are struggling with finding joy within themselves, I think we’d all be more compassionate toward others. We wouldn’t preconceive people- remembering everyone is struggling a battle no one knows about. The truth is, everyone is trying to make it. Making your happiness and personal growth a priority in your life is often thought to be selfish. However, it allows you to take care of in the long run. Knowing how to do that is tricky. Part of it is learning to transmit positive energy, words of kindness, and faith in yourself after experiencing all the things that have tried to weigh you down. For me, one of the greatest journeys I went on was challenging myself to understand my past. I did this through therapy and writing a book. I wanted to understand my heart and that meant stripping it down to the core to really know who I am, but more importantly... who I wanted to become. At one point in my life, I became very cynical towards the idea of love. I felt it wasn’t for me because I didn’t want to deal with the repercussions of having my heart broken again. By the way, I’m not only referring to a love figure. I grew up with strong negativity from my dad and his words were always harsh on me. I’ve learned to forgive him with the help of therapy, but to say they didn’t affect me for a long time is a lie. For the record, having a boyfriend is not solely the reason why I’m happy. Sure, being with a wonderful man has brought me more smiles and laughter... but he and I both know, when we were ready to be together, I was already in a place of happiness. I worked hard to find a “me” that I loved and no one can take that from you. Happiness is a very personal thing, my dear, and has nothing to do with others. When you realize you’ve given others that power, .Your health, your peace, your smile are worth it. You come first. Everything else, like dancing in the snow with your loved one is just icing on the cake. I hope this helps anyone trying to find self-love today.
|Posted on December 27, 2018 at 2:20 AM||comments (0)|
"ONCE YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO LAST FOREVER.
BUT IN REALITY, IT ONLY LASTS AS LONG AS YOU'RE WORKING FOR IT.
IF ONE OF YOU STOPS WORKING, IT FALLS APART."
No I in team. Two people need to contribute. Two people need to care. Two people need to respect one another. Two people need to want it. That’s the only way it’ll work, that’s the only way it’s always been. The minute one side carries the weight to two is often when unhappiness begins. Help your partner. Love your partner. Speak to your partner. Listen to your partner. Always ask how you can be of more help, how you can be more loving, nurturing, etc. Ask, Speak, Communicate.... over and over and over again.
|Posted on December 27, 2018 at 2:20 AM||comments (0)|
Even after all this time together, both of us constantly always ask each other, “Isn’t it crazy how we’re together?” Neither of us ever thought we’d date. Over 4 years ago, we tried and I shut it down before it even began. I sensed maybe he was going to be an inconsistent guy and told him it wouldn’t work out. I never even gave him the opportunity to prove he was different. I wasn’t ready and was not willing to risk having my heart broken. He wasn’t happy about it... even texting me on New Year’s Eve a few weeks after to attempt dating again. For whatever reason, something told me he was a great guy and sometimes, we tend to run from not only things we need and want, but are good for our mind, body and soul. We run to what is familiar and that’s exactly what I did. I continued going after the same kind of guy I had only known. The familiar, as much as we hate it, is a comfort zone. During those following 3.5 years after, we remained friends. Texting each other on holidays and even going to a few concerts together as friends. Nothing ever happened- even when we first began dating. We never kissed, “hooked up,” etc.
There was always a level of respect and boundary between us, despite how obvious the attraction and chemistry always has been. I think that’s why when the timing was finally right, we came in with such a different level of respect at giving it a shot. We were clear from the beginning of what we wanted, our needs, wants, and I wasn’t shy about vocalizing that. If you didn’t know, I’m a control freak and consistently is the #1 thing I need in all things otherwise I feel unbalanced and unhappy. Last night, I read a beautiful quote. It read, “Part of being in a relationship and loving someone is making yourself vulnerable. It's accepting the fact that your partner can destroy you, but trusting they won't.” If you’ve recently had your heart broken and wondering if you should trust another person again, know this. No one is going to make you feel ready until you are. Don’t worry about turning away people you’re not ready to accept today. As cliche as it sounds, if things are meant to be... they will. When the time is right. Just keep working on yourself.
|Posted on September 30, 2018 at 9:15 PM||comments (0)|
13 years ago, before beginning my senior year of high school, I developed an under-active thyroid condition. This brought on its own challenges I had to deal with for years...it never goes away. 5 years ago, after ending a toxic relationship, I began therapy. I went every week for over just a year. You probably remember my deep journal entries on my website under “therapy-inspired.” I’ve always needed justification for why things happened or need to happen, and why we do the things we do. Over the years, I was fortunate to have a diverse group of friendships/relationships that began and also ended in my life. Some lasted only for a season, others for a few years. I’m grateful for each person and the chapter they brought me, because it molded me into the person I am today. One of the greatest lessons I have been fortunate to learn overtime is that happiness doesn’t start with a relationship, a job, or college degree. It starts with your thoughts and what you tell yourself everyday. How you talk to yourself is KEY to not only your fundamental development in life, but how others perceive you. There are going to be enough people who don’t believe you’ll reach your goals, enough people who want you to do the things they do, and enough people who are just as lost in life that think they know what’s best for you (family included). We’re all in the same boat... trying to find our way. Don’t be afraid of the confusion, it’s normal. Don’t be afraid of being lost, you’ll eventually find your path. In the meantime, be confident in who you are and know you are DIVINE, my dear. In all your glory....you are ENOUGH. Don’t change to accommodate those who are uncomfortable in your choices, because I promise you...the right people for you will love you for YOU and that is always enough. Here’s to another year. 29 on the 29th.
|Posted on September 26, 2018 at 6:20 PM||comments (0)|
In a few days, I’ll be turning 29. I’ve always enjoyed reminiscing back on the past year to share what I’ve learned in hopes that it may help someone. One of the greatest lessons I learned was the power of taking back control in your life. We have ALL faced hardships in our life that impacted our health, perspective, confidence, and peace. Whether it was a bad breakup, job loss, stress, toxic people in your life- whatever. We’ve all been there. Personally, I used to victimize myself to circumstances that occurred and say, “Why me?” This petty, negative thinking didn’t lead me far, and instead, hindered my growth because I identified my entire self with the trauma I experienced. When that’s all you choose to see in yourself, you have no idea who you are outside of the trauma and that is terrifying. It wasn’t until I realized that no one was standing in my way of achieving my goals, except me, that I gained back my power. It still takes practice, but I try to remind myself that keeping my head high is the only way to see things more clearly. When shit hits the fan and life hands you a bitter lemon, you can choose to take it and just accept what’s been handed to you. But, that’s not a fun way to live. Instead, you can choose to take that same bitter lemon and make lemonade from it... meaning you use it to grow and become better than before. If you never tasted a bad lemon, just like not experiencing tough times, you wouldn’t know how to appreciate the more enjoyable ones. Remember, the bad times make the good times better so don’t be afraid of facing them, be afraid of staying in the bad times. Remember the only way to see the light is to keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. ✨
|Posted on August 27, 2018 at 12:30 PM||comments (0)|
DON'T MIX BAD WORDS WITH YOUR BAD MOOD.
YOU'LL HAVE MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO CHANGE A MOOD,
BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO REPLACE THE WORDS YOU SPOKE.
Life is too short to spend minutes, hours, days, or weeks angry. It’s just simply, too short. We all have a choice and that’s to be the bigger person everyday, despite circumstances... we must practice being more patient and willing to listen. I truly believe some people will bring out the best in you and others the worst. What tends to happen with people that bring out the worst in you is a toxic relationship between you develops that makes you sick, brings you anxiety, causes restless nights, and affects your day emotionally and physically weighing you down. Fighting is inevitable- that’s not what defines a relationship that is great. There’s no such thing. It’s mastering the art of respecting one another when you’re most frustrated with the least amount of patience. It’s realizing that love is so much stronger than any sudden anger, upset, or frustration you feel. It’s communicating. It’s listening. It’s forgiveness and most importantly, probably above all, it’s realizing no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, we all will have our good and days. But it’s remember that the bad times make the good times better and as @jlo recently said in her speech at the VMA’s, “My life is sweeter and better with you in it because you make me realize that everyday; the sky is not the limit. The universe is infinite, and so is what we can accomplish together, with love and trust and understanding.” That is love.
|Posted on August 23, 2018 at 3:55 PM||comments (0)|
|Posted on July 18, 2018 at 2:10 AM||comments (3)|
I'm not an easy person to impress- never have been. I think this is particularly do to my uncle treating me like a princess growing up. When I say princess, I don't mean spoiling me. I mean opening doors, complimenting me, remembering special dates and making me feel safe. He would always say, "You're so sweet, but you're a tough cookie." It's true. I often hear from people, "I wouldn't want to see you mad." Not because I'm an angry person, but because I'm a happy person. I have a lot of patience for some things, but I also have none for bullshit. I used to be a pushover and just take things thrown my way, but not anymore. I haven't been that way for some time now. I stopped living for others and that made all the difference. The other day, a follower asked, "What does perfect look like to you?" Truth be told, there's no such thing as perfect. We all know this. But the closest type of character that defines this that I can think of is sung by Dierk Bentley. The song is called, "Riser." In the song, he sings he's a fighter, "mean enough to stare your demons down." I love that. I've put a LOT of walls up- after being fucked over from others, this tends to happen. You do anything to protect yourself, your soul. As much of an open book I am, those who truly know me, know there’s so much more to me than what people see. As loving as I am, I am also stubborn so I really need someone who's able to put me in my place, because sometimes I need it. We all do. Someone who's not going to give up on us, who'll continue to try and who's a "trier." Listen to the song. Figure out what you kind of companion you need. Be that. Stand tall, alone. When you do that, the right people for you will break down your walls... no matter how fucking high they are. Don't settle.
|Posted on February 6, 2018 at 12:30 PM||comments (0)|
When is a “loss” really a loss? In my opinion, it’s only when you allow it to be. Our minds are a very, very powerful force of nature and with self-discipline, we can become the master of our thoughts. The only difference between a good and bad thought is the difference in your control of it. If you don’t control what you THINK, you cannot control what you DO. A bad habit we all have, including myself, is over-thinking. Silence is golden may be true, but it surely does offer time to hear ourselves a bit louder. Is the voice in your head friendly? Who’s side is it on? Does it build you or tear you down? What does it say to you? Like all good things in life...practice makes perfect. Spend time, everyday, nurturing, training, and praying for confidence, security, and strength to be kind to yourself. That’s where love begins and ends. Without loving yourself, you’ll always listen to the doubt, insecurity, and anxiousness behind a voice who wants to kick down the badass you really are. So, sit...sit in the silence. But don’t become a victim to what that bitch says
|Posted on February 5, 2018 at 11:10 AM||comments (0)|
NEVER REGRET BEING A GOOD WOMAN TO THE WRONG MAN...
Keep being a great woman...for yourself. Don’t let hurt, pain, or anger make you bitter. Don’t allow it to take ahold of the good that’s within you. When you do, you give power to someone no longer in your life to control, dictate, and influence your actions. Unfortunately, the only one who ends up losing is YOU. Losing potential opportunities because you’re unable to consider that someone may be good to you. Unable to see that not all people are the same. Take the time to heal your heart so that you can properly allow love back in when ready.