Life. Moves. On.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life...it goes on."- Robert Frost

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Full CIRCLE Moments

Posted on June 18, 2019 at 7:45 PM Comments comments (0)


IN CONNECTION to my previous post on full circles ➡️ ⭕️ After going through a really challenging breakup, there was this guy. We met through mutual friends and though we were often around one another, it meant nothing at the time. The same week I was dumped, I realized I had an extra ticket to a Zac Brown Concert. I decided to ask this guy if he wanted to come with me as friends. He said yes. The chemistry was undeniable between us, but dating was so far from my thoughts at that time. I had just gone through hell. There was no way I’d open up to anyone again, or so I thought. Fast forward to a few weeks after, he asked me to consider taking him seriously in the dating matter. I panicked and said I think we should remain friends. He was really hurt and saddened, because he felt we had a strong bond. Fast forward to 4 years later... after 4 years of me staying single, working on myself, dating many weirdos, and reading a lot. My focus on healing during those 4 years had many ups and downs. I did things that seemed out of character, but later realized it was part of a journey to help me learn my worth and also, find what I not only wanted, but needed. 4 years after saying no to this guy, my best friend was getting married and made it clear that he was going to be my date. I didn’t really have an option. So, he was and that night, we shared our first kiss. We soon realized, the feelings never left. Ironically, 2 days later I left out of the country for 3 weeks. We texted each day and while at my family’s vacation home, while looking out at cows, feeling at peace, I had my aha moment- an epiphany. It was him all along. It was always him! He’s my full circle. I texted him, “When I come home, I want to give us a shot again.” Remember, your journey isn’t meant to look like everyone else’s. Have faith that it’s all part of a grand plan. #trusttheprocess

Full CIRCLE Moments.

Posted on June 18, 2019 at 7:45 PM Comments comments (0)



If you’ve been reading my writing throughout the years- you’d know my fascination with things coming full circle. I’ve always admired the idea of things making sense, that “aha” moment we all want so badly. If you’re unfamiliar, a full circle is “a series of developments that lead back to the original source, position, or situation or to a complete reversal of the original position.” My search for full circles were developed after reading a book by @thesinglewoman where she shared, “When life brings you full circle, pay attention. There’s a lesson there.” As a person that seeks answers, reasonings and justifications to why everything and anything had to happen, this quote resonated with me. �� ��‍♀️ Full Circles are a magical, awakening moment. We’re often told, “It’ll make sense why it had to happen one day.” When in pain, it’s very challenging to accept this truth. When you’re sad, all you want to feel is good, now. Waiting for that day, moment or time in your life seems so mundane when all you do is feel sadness, lost, and confused. Whether you’re going through a breakup, separation, divorce, job loss, trying to get pregnant, etc... as cliche as it sounds, I know it’ll make sense one day why you had to wait. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but someday... the stars will align and the puzzle will connect and you will look back and realize you had the pieces all along. The pieces, which are the experiences you’re going through that are needed to somehow, in the most abstract way, click and create YOUR destiny. The journey may not go as you’d like and it may feel so frustrating at times. Wondering when will be your chance, your moment. It can be a long road and it can feel lonely at times. You may feel like giving up at times, but I ask you to stay hopeful. Positive your time will come. Things will always come full circle. It’s just trusting that when it does, you’ll be ready to accept the lesson.


Growing Older

Posted on April 8, 2019 at 12:10 PM Comments comments (7)

One thing that I, you, we tend to be guilty of is shaming ourselves for turning a year older- especially women. You hear it all the time, “Don’t ask a woman her age.” But, why? Each year is something to celebrate and be proud of. I think the greatest reason we don’t celebrate is often because we associate age with accomplishments or lack thereof. “I want to be married, have kids, own a home, retire by, etc.” We put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve dreams, but the beauty of a dream is that there’s no expiration date on them. Remember, you’re allowed to reach your faith, calling, passion, meet your love, have children at the time destiny has for you. Maybe you have more to learn, more to see, and more to grow. Trust the timing of your life and let go and watch how many more things will come your way. Keep on keeping on and move forward with confidence and grace. It will come to you in due time. Promise. Chin up, Queen. You got this.


 

 

Breakups Suck

Posted on April 1, 2019 at 12:35 PM Comments comments (0)




Breakups suck. There are so many damn rules to follow after. “Don’t try to remain friends.” “Don’t initiate contact with your ex.” “Don’t try to change their mind, beg, plead or cry in front of them.” There are so many rules that are not easy to follow for multiple reasons. 1) Anxiety. If you have anxiety or get anxious, you know how difficult it is to just sit and pretend you’re okay. Waiting, no answer, silence- they are moments where our mind fills with thoughts that drain our wellbeing. 2.) You didn’t get an answer. This is probably one of the worst endings. Not getting a real answer as to why things needed to end. You spend each day replaying memories, the past, trying to figure out a moment in time when things went wrong. 3.) Blame. We sometimes take the silence as a reason to blame ourselves. What could we have done differently? Did we love too hard? Did we believe something was there and it wasn’t? Did we imagine it? No. You didn’t. You felt love. You were told it was love. Wrapping your mind around something that doesn’t make sense is so exhausting and the truth is, we may sometimes never get the answer and maybe we will. Maybe we won’t care in the future. Actually, you won’t. That’s the one truth I know. You won’t care because eventually things will make sense. Things WILL come full circle and things will no longer confuse you. Maybe it’s because you’ve moved on, got your answer, or maybe you find something more worthy of pursuing.... and that’s you. Your heart, your needs, your wants. My dear, take time to heal and don’t put a stopwatch on when that is. Time will tell. One day, when you’ve stopped counting how many days, weeks,months it’s been since the breakup, when you last spoke, the last text, the last time you saw each other... you’ll just feel different. You’ll be a new you. Someone that no longer cares for the answers because they wouldn’t have changed the outcome of what happened and that was just the heartbreak of one chapter of your life. You have so many more pages to turn and you’ll see that. Just hang in there for now and feel what you need to. The sadness, hate, confusion.. it’s all part of the healing. So, heal.

 

 

Thank you, Next.

Posted on April 1, 2019 at 12:35 PM Comments comments (0)

Do you ever stop and wonder, “How the f*^k did I get through what I got through?” Surprisingly, most people don’t ask themselves that. I wish more did. I wish we stopped and looked back a bit more. Not because the past should be holding you down, but rather... the opposite. I’m not afraid of looking back on my past. I thrive off of it. I know what I’ve endured and why it has made me who I am today. I know that everything that’s ever happened to me, good or bad, was never to hurt me- but to allow me to stand tall today. I am who I am because of my past, but I’ll never allow myself to become a victim to it. I’ve battled sadness, self-doubt, fear, anxiety, comparison, defeat, and most of all, realizing I don’t have to be anyone but me. I was born in the U.S., but raised by immigrants and a lot of who I am is because of them. I was voted “Best all around” my senior year in high school- it caused more bad than good. I put unnecessary pressure on myself in thinking I had to maintain an “image” of what that meant in the eyes of others. I was in a long distance relationship that resulted in trying to save someone who didn’t want to be saved.




I had people I thought were “friends” teach me by taking advantage of my kindness what a real friend is. I’ve lost myself, found myself, and am constantly working on deciding what and who I want to be. But one thing that is different about the girl you see here today vs. the one say 5, 7 and even 10 years ago is that she’s proud of where she’s been, where I am, and where I am going and that has always been enough. No one is going to come and love you until you know that YOU, with all your flaws and fears and challenges are damn perfect. Own you, my love. Because at the end of the day, your voice is the loudest amongst any crowd. So, thank you to all those who’ve wronged me. I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you, next.

Chin Up.

Posted on April 1, 2019 at 12:30 PM Comments comments (0)


One thing that I, you, we tend to be guilty of is shaming ourselves for turning a year older- especially women. You hear it all the time, “Don’t ask a woman her age.” But, why? Each year is something to celebrate and be proud of. I think the greatest reason we don’t celebrate is often because we associate age with accomplishments or lack thereof. “I want to be married, have kids, own a home, retire by, etc.” We put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve dreams, but the beauty of a dream is that there’s no expiration date on them. Remember, you’re allowed to reach your faith, calling, passion, meet your love, have children at the time destiny has for you. Maybe you have more to learn, more to see, and more to grow. Trust the timing of your life and let go and watch how many more things will come your way. Keep on keeping on and move forward with confidence and grace.�� It will come to you in due time. Promise. Chin up, Queen. You got this.

Long Distance

Posted on March 26, 2019 at 1:45 PM Comments comments (0)

I recently had an old friend and follower reach out to me in hopes of being heard regarding his current relationship which is long distance. For those of you who’ve been following me for several years, you’d know that I’ve been in a long distance relationship and were apart for a year. While I’m no expert when it comes to love, relationships and how to handle breakups- I can offer you my advice based on personal experiences and the experiences of my friends. From my own personal experience, I’d say that long distance is very, very hard. It’s the truth. It’s difficult to share experiences physically with someone when they cannot be there, but what’s harder is if there is no trust. What tends to happen is the person who’s away often begins to question you- out of natural fear. This tends to cause a shift in the dynamic of power between two people. When one person begins to feel a lack of equality in the relationship, a push-pull dynamic begins. This continues and continues until neither can no longer handle it. That’s the truth. I truly feel the only way this can be avoided is CLEAR communication prior to being apart of your goals in the relationship, the long term plan and an overall idea of what both partners need to feel good moving forward. Communication is essential but not only when apart... before. This important step is often forgotten and the excitement of loving one another is not enough to sustain the emotions of jealousy, fear, and not being able to relate when finally apart. #communication

Keep it Up.

Posted on February 8, 2019 at 11:25 AM Comments comments (0)



I’m not the type of person that really cringes when she sees old pictures of herself in the past. It actually makes me happy to realize in just a few short years, how much we, things, life can change. I went to bed last night listening to a meditation that reminded me that nothing in life is permanent and things can change in a blink of an eye. This is so important to remember when going through a tough time. Remembering that this too, shall past. A couple days ago, my boyfriend and I were going through my old photos I’ve taken in the month of February- laughing, especially pictures of me as a blonde. This picture popped up and I shared with him a little about what the picture was and together we laughed and continued looking at others. This photo was taken on February 8, 2015- just 4 years ago from today. On paper, it sounds not too long ago but in perspective and realization of who I was then, it’s a lifetime for me. You see, this photo is of me and a guy my friends basically set me up with. On paper, he had all the things I’d consider “good.” He had a career as a chiropractor, he made me feel beautiful, and desired. He even delivered Valentine’s Day strawberries to my office. Despite all these things that would make a girl feel ecstatic to pursue this possibility, it didn’t for me. Because these things aren’t enough to make relationships last and I learned that not long before this. I wasn’t ready to date, but I also knew that all this would do for me was kill time and take away from what I really needed to focus on and that was me, myself and I. This didn’t last long. Maybe 2 months max and got as far as a kiss on the cheek. I don’t like to drag things on when I know in my heart it’s not for me. Exactly 14 days after, on the next photo, is me- alone, happy and helping kids run at the beach. The reality of growth is that you’re never done. It’s indefinite and you keep learning and becoming different versions of you and my hope is that whether you’re on this chapter now, you remember that all good things come with time. Don’t be afraid to give up the mundane for something greater- and that may just simply be you, smiling, alone.


How do I become happy?

Posted on January 17, 2019 at 2:20 AM Comments comments (0)


One of the most common questions I am asked through email or DM on my blog, @lifemoveson21 is, “������ ���� �� ������������ ����������?” If we only knew how many people are struggling with finding joy within themselves, I think we’d all be more compassionate toward others. We wouldn’t preconceive people- remembering everyone is struggling a battle no one knows about. The truth is, everyone is trying to make it. Making your happiness and personal growth a priority in your life is often thought to be selfish. However, it allows you to take care of �������� ������������ in the long run. Knowing how to do that is tricky. Part of it is learning to transmit positive energy, words of kindness, and faith in yourself after experiencing all the things that have tried to weigh you down. For me, one of the greatest journeys I went on was challenging myself to understand my past. I did this through therapy and writing a book. I wanted to understand my heart and that meant stripping it down to the core to really know who I am, but more importantly... who I wanted to become. At one point in my life, I became very cynical towards the idea of love. I felt it wasn’t for me because I didn’t want to deal with the repercussions of having my heart broken again. By the way, I’m not only referring to a love figure. I grew up with strong negativity from my dad and his words were always harsh on me. I’ve learned to forgive him with the help of therapy, but to say they didn’t affect me for a long time is a lie. For the record, having a boyfriend is not solely the reason why I’m happy. Sure, being with a wonderful man has brought me more smiles and laughter... but he and I both know, when we were ready to be together, I was already in a place of happiness. I worked hard to find a “me” that I loved and no one can take that from you. Happiness is a very personal thing, my dear, and has nothing to do with others. When you realize you’ve given others that power, �������� ���� ��������.Your health, your peace, your smile are worth it. You come first. Everything else, like dancing in the snow with your loved one is just icing on the cake. I hope this helps anyone trying to find self-love today. 

 

It takes 2.

Posted on December 27, 2018 at 2:20 AM Comments comments (0)

"ONCE YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO LAST FOREVER.

BUT IN REALITY, IT ONLY LASTS AS LONG AS YOU'RE WORKING FOR IT.

IF ONE OF YOU STOPS WORKING, IT FALLS APART."


No I in team. Two people need to contribute. Two people need to care. Two people need to respect one another. Two people need to want it. That’s the only way it’ll work, that’s the only way it’s always been. The minute one side carries the weight to two is often when unhappiness begins. Help your partner. Love your partner. Speak to your partner. Listen to your partner. Always ask how you can be of more help, how you can be more loving, nurturing, etc. Ask, Speak, Communicate.... over and over and over again.