|Posted on September 30, 2018 at 9:15 PM||comments (0)|
13 years ago, before beginning my senior year of high school, I developed an under-active thyroid condition. This brought on its own challenges I had to deal with for years...it never goes away. 5 years ago, after ending a toxic relationship, I began therapy. I went every week for over just a year. You probably remember my deep journal entries on my website under “therapy-inspired.” I’ve always needed justification for why things happened or need to happen, and why we do the things we do. Over the years, I was fortunate to have a diverse group of friendships/relationships that began and also ended in my life. Some lasted only for a season, others for a few years. I’m grateful for each person and the chapter they brought me, because it molded me into the person I am today. One of the greatest lessons I have been fortunate to learn overtime is that happiness doesn’t start with a relationship, a job, or college degree. It starts with your thoughts and what you tell yourself everyday. How you talk to yourself is KEY to not only your fundamental development in life, but how others perceive you. There are going to be enough people who don’t believe you’ll reach your goals, enough people who want you to do the things they do, and enough people who are just as lost in life that think they know what’s best for you (family included). We’re all in the same boat... trying to find our way. Don’t be afraid of the confusion, it’s normal. Don’t be afraid of being lost, you’ll eventually find your path. In the meantime, be confident in who you are and know you are DIVINE, my dear. In all your glory....you are ENOUGH. Don’t change to accommodate those who are uncomfortable in your choices, because I promise you...the right people for you will love you for YOU and that is always enough. Here’s to another year. 29 on the 29th.
|Posted on September 24, 2018 at 8:20 PM||comments (0)|
Growing up, we’re taught to work hard for the “good life.” That typically is masked as materialistic items such as nice cars, clothes, and luxurious items. As we grow older and wiser, we learn a simple truth: Not all that shines is gold, and that’s okay. With the years, I’ve become more confident, happy, and secure in knowing my idea of what’s “gold” doesn’t have to be same as you and yours. We live in a world where comparing is easy to do, judging is the new norm, and good is never good enough because he/she has this. I’ve always believed that this is due to our devices being in the palm of our hands- thanks to social media, it’s so easy to compare. This year alone, I’ve met with close to 10 people who are struggling to find their own path. Society has told them that they are “behind.” This isn’t true. Your journey is yours...own it. One thing I want you to always remember is that not all things are as good as they look. Beauty on the outside does not always equal good quality. Everything that is shiny or fancy does not mean it is valuable. The reality is nothing shines brighter than a heart of gold and my dear, that is priceless. Happy Thursday, beauties.
|Posted on August 27, 2018 at 12:30 PM||comments (0)|
DON'T MIX BAD WORDS WITH YOUR BAD MOOD.
YOU'LL HAVE MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO CHANGE A MOOD,
BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO REPLACE THE WORDS YOU SPOKE.
Life is too short to spend minutes, hours, days, or weeks angry. It’s just simply, too short. We all have a choice and that’s to be the bigger person everyday, despite circumstances... we must practice being more patient and willing to listen. I truly believe some people will bring out the best in you and others the worst. What tends to happen with people that bring out the worst in you is a toxic relationship between you develops that makes you sick, brings you anxiety, causes restless nights, and affects your day emotionally and physically weighing you down. Fighting is inevitable- that’s not what defines a relationship that is great. There’s no such thing. It’s mastering the art of respecting one another when you’re most frustrated with the least amount of patience. It’s realizing that love is so much stronger than any sudden anger, upset, or frustration you feel. It’s communicating. It’s listening. It’s forgiveness and most importantly, probably above all, it’s realizing no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, we all will have our good and days. But it’s remember that the bad times make the good times better and as @jlo recently said in her speech at the VMA’s, “My life is sweeter and better with you in it because you make me realize that everyday; the sky is not the limit. The universe is infinite, and so is what we can accomplish together, with love and trust and understanding.” That is love.
|Posted on August 23, 2018 at 3:55 PM||comments (0)|
|Posted on July 18, 2018 at 2:10 AM||comments (3)|
I'm not an easy person to impress- never have been. I think this is particularly do to my uncle treating me like a princess growing up. When I say princess, I don't mean spoiling me. I mean opening doors, complimenting me, remembering special dates and making me feel safe. He would always say, "You're so sweet, but you're a tough cookie." It's true. I often hear from people, "I wouldn't want to see you mad." Not because I'm an angry person, but because I'm a happy person. I have a lot of patience for some things, but I also have none for bullshit. I used to be a pushover and just take things thrown my way, but not anymore. I haven't been that way for some time now. I stopped living for others and that made all the difference. The other day, a follower asked, "What does perfect look like to you?" Truth be told, there's no such thing as perfect. We all know this. But the closest type of character that defines this that I can think of is sung by Dierk Bentley. The song is called, "Riser." In the song, he sings he's a fighter, "mean enough to stare your demons down." I love that. I've put a LOT of walls up- after being fucked over from others, this tends to happen. You do anything to protect yourself, your soul. As much of an open book I am, those who truly know me, know there’s so much more to me than what people see. As loving as I am, I am also stubborn so I really need someone who's able to put me in my place, because sometimes I need it. We all do. Someone who's not going to give up on us, who'll continue to try and who's a "trier." Listen to the song. Figure out what you kind of companion you need. Be that. Stand tall, alone. When you do that, the right people for you will break down your walls... no matter how fucking high they are. Don't settle.
|Posted on July 18, 2018 at 2:10 AM||comments (0)|
Have you read “The 5 Love Languages?” How about “Attached?” We all have different perceptions of what love is and how we feel it. I think the root of most failed relationships is not knowing or knowing and not giving that person the kind of love they need. Because we all love differently, we measure how fulfilled we feel in our love unique from our partners. For example, you may feel love by receiving gifts. This means that you may enjoy holding hands and them doing the dishes, but to you, love is defined by receiving roses randomly. Let’s say your primary love language is quality time. You crave intimate moments of being together & making memories. No matter how many gifts they give you, it wouldn’t compensate for the time with them you crave. Simple, right? Find out what your better half needs to feel loved and do it. The tricky part, though, is understanding how THEY perceive that love language. For example, you know their love language is quality time so you think by watching t.v. with them you are spending time together. Nope! That’s not always the case. To some, it means the T.V. has your attention- not your spouse. They may view quality time together as time doing things involving your undivided attention. These books opened my knowledge to a greater understanding of what love is because it has helped me realize that your primary love language will help you know what it means and how you can use it to connect with others. #read
|Posted on February 6, 2018 at 12:30 PM||comments (0)|
When is a “loss” really a loss? In my opinion, it’s only when you allow it to be. Our minds are a very, very powerful force of nature and with self-discipline, we can become the master of our thoughts. The only difference between a good and bad thought is the difference in your control of it. If you don’t control what you THINK, you cannot control what you DO. A bad habit we all have, including myself, is over-thinking. Silence is golden may be true, but it surely does offer time to hear ourselves a bit louder. Is the voice in your head friendly? Who’s side is it on? Does it build you or tear you down? What does it say to you? Like all good things in life...practice makes perfect. Spend time, everyday, nurturing, training, and praying for confidence, security, and strength to be kind to yourself. That’s where love begins and ends. Without loving yourself, you’ll always listen to the doubt, insecurity, and anxiousness behind a voice who wants to kick down the badass you really are. So, sit...sit in the silence. But don’t become a victim to what that bitch says
|Posted on February 5, 2018 at 3:25 PM||comments (0)|
PEOPLE LOOK SO DIFFERENT ONCE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM ANYMORE.
Throughout life, you’ll meet people who will make you feel different than others. Some will be amazing and others, not so much. The people we tend to remember the most are the ones who’ve made us feel both... crazy good & crazy bad. These people are sometimes unforgettable and quite frankly, I think that’s okay. It’s ok to remember how quickly feelings can change and how quickly people’s feelings for us can change too. It’s important so that you remember that the only thing consistent in life is your love for yourself and if that is not nourished and cared for, you’ll be left alone if someone’s feelings for you slip like quicksand. My suggestion? Don’t forget these people who’ve made you feel amazing then shitty. Remember them. For YOU. Remember what they’ve done without letting it weigh you down. Remember, that you will truly forget what they’ve said and maybe what they’ve done, but you’ll never forget how they made you feel. Maybe it’ll also shape how you treat others. In the end, that’s all we’re remembered for, anyway....how we made others feel.
|Posted on February 5, 2018 at 11:10 AM||comments (0)|
I’ve seen so many amazing, deserving, loving, and valuable men AND women settle for less than they deserve. I think we all do it-stick around, hoping people will change. I get it; trust me. I get it because I was there before- that push/pull relationship. God, it is so toxic. It consumes you. It drains you. It causes you to forget YOU! Once you learn to love yourself and value your own time, solitude, beauty, and accept it for what it is, you’ll realize how consuming, annoying, and far from cute loving the wrong kind of people is. Remember, it drains you. After learning who I am and what I want, nothing is sexier than hearing from your spouse, “Do you.” When they say it in a positive, supportive, non-passive way...you know they not only want you to live your best life and to reach your worth, but they’ll be there to support you rather than weigh you down. Pick and choose wisely. Not everyone is worth your energy.
|Posted on February 5, 2018 at 11:05 AM||comments (0)|
One of the most heartbreaking things I see on a daily basis is women who’ve forgotten what they bring to the table. In short, their worth. Why does this happen? Well, if I had to guess it’s because when a breakup occurs, a natural thought that we immediately believe is that it was our fault. We hurt and to make sense of it, we tend to blame ourselves because it’s easier than thinking rationally as to why it didn’t work. I spent a looooong time reading, studying, and practicing a lot of the relationship “techniques” books teach you on having a successful relationship. Very few teach you the simple key that I had to learn on my own time. It sounds simple and I know many of you can argue that you do in fact “love yourself,” but I beg to differ. Loving yourself is an art that is so fucking important to every aspect of having a rich life. No person, object, career, sport, place, or high can replace the importance of loving yourself without condition. By that, I mean that even when you are not your best, when your ugly side shows...YOU still love yourself and accept your flaws. This, my dear, is what love is all about. Loving someone unconditionally, without expectation or default when tension arrives. I ask you to focus today on loving yourself. If you’re lost, or don’t know where to begin, I’m only an email away.