|Posted on July 18, 2018 at 2:10 AM||comments (3)|
I'm not an easy person to impress- never have been. I think this is particularly do to my uncle treating me like a princess growing up. When I say princess, I don't mean spoiling me. I mean opening doors, complimenting me, remembering special dates and making me feel safe. He would always say, "You're so sweet, but you're a tough cookie." It's true. I often hear from people, "I wouldn't want to see you mad." Not because I'm an angry person, but because I'm a happy person. I have a lot of patience for some things, but I also have none for bullshit. I used to be a pushover and just take things thrown my way, but not anymore. I haven't been that way for some time now. I stopped living for others and that made all the difference. The other day, a follower asked, "What does perfect look like to you?" Truth be told, there's no such thing as perfect. We all know this. But the closest type of character that defines this that I can think of is sung by Dierk Bentley. The song is called, "Riser." In the song, he sings he's a fighter, "mean enough to stare your demons down." I love that. I've put a LOT of walls up- after being fucked over from others, this tends to happen. You do anything to protect yourself, your soul. As much of an open book I am, those who truly know me, know there’s so much more to me than what people see. As loving as I am, I am also stubborn so I really need someone who's able to put me in my place, because sometimes I need it. We all do. Someone who's not going to give up on us, who'll continue to try and who's a "trier." Listen to the song. Figure out what you kind of companion you need. Be that. Stand tall, alone. When you do that, the right people for you will break down your walls... no matter how fucking high they are. Don't settle.
|Posted on July 18, 2018 at 2:10 AM||comments (0)|
Have you read “The 5 Love Languages?” How about “Attached?” We all have different perceptions of what love is and how we feel it. I think the root of most failed relationships is not knowing or knowing and not giving that person the kind of love they need. Because we all love differently, we measure how fulfilled we feel in our love unique from our partners. For example, you may feel love by receiving gifts. This means that you may enjoy holding hands and them doing the dishes, but to you, love is defined by receiving roses randomly. Let’s say your primary love language is quality time. You crave intimate moments of being together & making memories. No matter how many gifts they give you, it wouldn’t compensate for the time with them you crave. Simple, right? Find out what your better half needs to feel loved and do it. The tricky part, though, is understanding how THEY perceive that love language. For example, you know their love language is quality time so you think by watching t.v. with them you are spending time together. Nope! That’s not always the case. To some, it means the T.V. has your attention- not your spouse. They may view quality time together as time doing things involving your undivided attention. These books opened my knowledge to a greater understanding of what love is because it has helped me realize that your primary love language will help you know what it means and how you can use it to connect with others. #read
|Posted on June 4, 2018 at 12:10 PM||comments (0)|
One of the most important things you can have for yourself is standards. This includes many things from the life you want to the personalities, people, and energies you’ll allow into your space. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more and more particular of how I spend my time as it always feels limited. A lot of my extra time is spent in ways that ground me. Whether that is being outdoors in nature, reading, writing, cuddling my dogs, listening to music, or spending time with loved ones...I value each indefinitely and know the importance of maintaining them in my life, no matter how crazy my schedule is. When you have standards for yourself and the life you want, it is not limited to materialistic items like the home you live in, car you drive, or occupation you have. Standards is so much more than that. It is how you allow people to speak to you and treat you. Remember that people will show you their colors and it is your choice if you want to see them for what they are or through rose-colored lens. When people mistreat you or test your integrity and trust, remember who you are and why you’re worthy of so much more than that.
Don’t be afraid to check people when they take advantage of your kindness and most of all, don’t be afraid of having standards for yourself. It takes courage to stand up for yourself, but it is not only necessary.... it should be the norm. Don’t take anyone’s negativity and drown the toxicity that tries to enter your sacred space. Vibes are contagious, babe. Be sure to only allow the good in and let the good out. Hope you all had a beautiful Memorial Day weekend. Much love, Shima. Xo #loveyourselffirst
|Posted on June 4, 2018 at 12:05 PM||comments (0)|
Growing up, we’re always told to be ourselves. You’ve heard it, I’ve heard it, we’ve all heard it…. “Be yourself.” The truth is, most of spend years trying to find who we are. Knowing who you are is more than knowing your likes and dislikes. It is knowing what brings you peace, happiness, and joy. It is knowing the parts of you that aren’t so pretty and being ok with them. It is about knowing what ignites your fire and fuels your ambition. Each chapter of our lives brings new awakenings of we are and who we are not. The challenging part is carrying parts of the person you were into a new chapter without punishing that person. We think that just because our personality, likes, dislikes, goals, etc. didn’t work in a previous relationship, we may not be able to be that way in the next. That is not true. What is important is not changing who you are to win someone’s heart. Instead, find someone who likes you for being you. Just because a past relationship didn’t work and they scolded you for having too much heart or too much drive doesn’t mean it won’t work for you in the next. Remember, it Is easy to be wanted. You want to be valued for your character, differences, and what you bring to the table. Someone’s “I’m tired of this” is another man or woman’s, “I can get used to this.” So, be more than ok with who you are, love. LOVE that person so damn much that no one can make you doubt the you, that you know. It’s not that you’re not right for them, some people aren’t right for YOU. You have to believe that you are good enough and worth it. Once you’re able to master the art of loving yourself and all that you entail, no one can steal that love from you and trust me, people want to be around that energy. Do you, be you, and own you. #loveyourselffirst #energiesarecontagious
|Posted on February 6, 2018 at 4:20 PM||comments (0)|
"It eventually gets better, without any sort of explanation; one day you realize that you're no longer upset. You're no longer mad, hurt, or bothered by the things that took so much of your energy and thoughts. You will find yourself in a peaceful place and enjoy that feeling."
Time is a powerful healer. Trust the timing of your life. Trust that life is on your side. Trust that things happen for a reason. Trust in the journey. Trust in your destiny. Trust that your heart will always get you through. You’re stronger than you know, wiser than you know, and worth more than you’ll ever feel. Keep rising above everything that feels heavy. Your time here on earth isn’t promised, but you are admired, needed, and loved more than you know. Keep your head up, beautiful. You’re going to get through this. Promise.
|Posted on February 6, 2018 at 12:30 PM||comments (0)|
When is a “loss” really a loss? In my opinion, it’s only when you allow it to be. Our minds are a very, very powerful force of nature and with self-discipline, we can become the master of our thoughts. The only difference between a good and bad thought is the difference in your control of it. If you don’t control what you THINK, you cannot control what you DO. A bad habit we all have, including myself, is over-thinking. Silence is golden may be true, but it surely does offer time to hear ourselves a bit louder. Is the voice in your head friendly? Who’s side is it on? Does it build you or tear you down? What does it say to you? Like all good things in life...practice makes perfect. Spend time, everyday, nurturing, training, and praying for confidence, security, and strength to be kind to yourself. That’s where love begins and ends. Without loving yourself, you’ll always listen to the doubt, insecurity, and anxiousness behind a voice who wants to kick down the badass you really are. So, sit...sit in the silence. But don’t become a victim to what that bitch says
|Posted on February 5, 2018 at 3:25 PM||comments (0)|
PEOPLE LOOK SO DIFFERENT ONCE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM ANYMORE.
Throughout life, you’ll meet people who will make you feel different than others. Some will be amazing and others, not so much. The people we tend to remember the most are the ones who’ve made us feel both... crazy good & crazy bad. These people are sometimes unforgettable and quite frankly, I think that’s okay. It’s ok to remember how quickly feelings can change and how quickly people’s feelings for us can change too. It’s important so that you remember that the only thing consistent in life is your love for yourself and if that is not nourished and cared for, you’ll be left alone if someone’s feelings for you slip like quicksand. My suggestion? Don’t forget these people who’ve made you feel amazing then shitty. Remember them. For YOU. Remember what they’ve done without letting it weigh you down. Remember, that you will truly forget what they’ve said and maybe what they’ve done, but you’ll never forget how they made you feel. Maybe it’ll also shape how you treat others. In the end, that’s all we’re remembered for, anyway....how we made others feel.
|Posted on February 5, 2018 at 11:10 AM||comments (0)|
NEVER REGRET BEING A GOOD WOMAN TO THE WRONG MAN...
Keep being a great woman...for yourself. Don’t let hurt, pain, or anger make you bitter. Don’t allow it to take ahold of the good that’s within you. When you do, you give power to someone no longer in your life to control, dictate, and influence your actions. Unfortunately, the only one who ends up losing is YOU. Losing potential opportunities because you’re unable to consider that someone may be good to you. Unable to see that not all people are the same. Take the time to heal your heart so that you can properly allow love back in when ready.
|Posted on February 5, 2018 at 11:10 AM||comments (0)|
I’ve seen so many amazing, deserving, loving, and valuable men AND women settle for less than they deserve. I think we all do it-stick around, hoping people will change. I get it; trust me. I get it because I was there before- that push/pull relationship. God, it is so toxic. It consumes you. It drains you. It causes you to forget YOU! Once you learn to love yourself and value your own time, solitude, beauty, and accept it for what it is, you’ll realize how consuming, annoying, and far from cute loving the wrong kind of people is. Remember, it drains you. After learning who I am and what I want, nothing is sexier than hearing from your spouse, “Do you.” When they say it in a positive, supportive, non-passive way...you know they not only want you to live your best life and to reach your worth, but they’ll be there to support you rather than weigh you down. Pick and choose wisely. Not everyone is worth your energy.
|Posted on February 5, 2018 at 11:10 AM||comments (0)|
IT TAKES TIME TO LEARN HOW TO BE ATTRACTED TO WHAT'S GOOD FOR US.
One of the most awakening lessons you’ll learn in life is what love really looks and feels like. For a long time, I thought love was about how someone makes you feel. I’ve learned through growth and age that love is many things, but for me...the most eye-opening lesson has been realizing that love is about giving without expectation of receiving. True love, never counts sacrifices, gifts given, and time spent with others. The true love that has lasted is the one that’s more focused on giving than receiving. It’s a love that’s genuine, from the heart, and creates a space that doesn’t influence jealousy, hate, or disappointment.