Life. Moves. On.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life...it goes on."- Robert Frost

Blog

view:  full / summary

That girl.

Posted on July 29, 2019 at 12:35 PM Comments comments (20)
I appreciate this girl in this photo so much more today than when I was recovering from it. That’s right. For a long time, I beat her up and punished her for loving too much, giving too much, and most of all, for getting lost. Looking back, I feel a sense of appreciation for this young soul who here is pictured 7 years ago. This girl, she will always be part of me and I’ve learned to accept that. During my healing years, I tried so desperately to box her away, forget her and not realizing I never will. She made me who I am. She taught me lessons no one ever will and that’s the beauty and power of learning to love yourself more. Learning that there’s nothing wrong with putting your needs first and then realizing that by doing that, you’re forced to end chapters with not one, but many, many people. Everything part of this girl ending was heartbreaking for me. I felt like I lost so much with her, but looking back... it is amazing what comes when you let what’s meant to go, go. There is so much more out there for you, my dear. Believe your destiny when the stars tell you to let go. Don’t fight it. Trust it, because when you fight it... you only hurt yourself more and hinder getting to where you need to get sooner. It’s all apart of a grand plan.


The Best Views

Posted on July 29, 2019 at 12:35 PM Comments comments (0)
Jay Shetty once wrote, “Everyone has a different clock, so wait for your time.” I couldn’t agree more. I’ve found we live in an era where social media allows us to compare our journey with another. It allows us to become envious, sad, worried, and fearful of things that don’t exist. It causes us to believe that we are behind on our goals. Destiny has its own time. Don’t compare your timeline-literally, with another persons. Their timeline might look a little different than yours, and that’s okay. Find pride in your current status while working and striving more. Be happy for others. Compare less. Work hard every single day to get closer to where you want to be and above all, be grateful. More energy on the journey and less on the destination, my dear. Your time, whatever you’re wishing, praying, and working for will come in due time. Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your heart. The best view always comes after the hardest climb, my dear. ⛰ #trusttheprocess

Leave the toxic behind you.

Posted on July 29, 2019 at 12:35 PM Comments comments (0)

I received an email from a follower who’s struggling with moving pass a situation that broke her heart a few months ago. �� I think many struggle with leaving a toxic relationship because they’re trying to justify the reasonings of shitty behavior. You won’t find the reasoning there, my dear. It’s like trying to find love where you lost it. The simple truth is that shitty people do shitty things. There is not much more to it than that. The only way to move on from a hurtful situation without bitterness and anger is to understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer want to feel that way again. Forgive them for their actions, but don’t forget. Take a long look in the mirror and remember who you are and why you deserve more. My suggestion is to write a list of reminders next to your mirror as to why you deserve to feel loved and to read it often. Perhaps, daily. Have you ever loved someone so deeply you’d do anything for them? Yeah, well make that person yourself and leave that dead-end relationship where it belongs- in the past.



Love Language

Posted on July 29, 2019 at 12:30 PM Comments comments (0)

We visited this very tree almost 2 years ago. It was right after I drove him to a park where I shared with him what I needed in order for us to pursue a relationship. He and I both talk about that day when needed. Like last night, when I was closed off and not communicating my emotions. Though I told him that day almost 2 years ago that I need him to communicate with me, I didn’t realize that it was going to be hard for me. You see, I knew what I needed... because it’s what I didn’t have. But, what tends to happen is we sometimes repeat patterns of our past because it’s what we have learned. For example, I used to be shut off and ignored when expressing my feelings. That taught me to pick my battles and avoid conflict. But, what I am reminded of often is that he, is different. Ironically, in his past relationships, he was the one closing off, not communicating.



Mostly because he wanted to avoid confrontation. That’s why I appreciate him 10x more when he surprises me and comes to me, asks me what’s wrong, and listens. He doesn’t run when I’m moody, being short or cold. He seeks to understand, comfort and be there. That has made all the difference, having someone that CARES enough to want to nurture my heart and be my confidant. Effort goes both ways and it requires work. When one person is trying more than the other, things get unbalanced. So, communicate and communicate often. Never stop seeking to understand how to love your partner how they need you to. Know their love language and then keep maximizing the ways you can love them. 

Compromise.

Posted on July 29, 2019 at 12:20 PM Comments comments (0)
In the past, my mind juggled with trying to figure out what “works.” Two peas in a pod or Opposites attract. In the past, I felt like what made me different from others was the root of what caused relationships not too last. I don’t drink, don’t enjoy “partying,” and find passion and interest in things that I felt most people my age didn’t. This resulted in me always separating myself from the crowds I was in during different chapters of my life, someway or somehow. However, things came full circle for me when I came to a place that brought me back to my childhood friends- even though we were/are different. Sure, we enjoy some of the same things... but our differences is always what balanced us. We didn’t have to be the same to know we shared something in common.



With my boyfriend, we share a lot of interests, but also have things we like to do individually, too. We both love exploring and adventuring new places, cities and restaurants. We both love dogs, have similar long-term goals and each have a stronger relationship with one of our parents. Yet, we’re also different. I’m obsessed with cleaning, thinking into the future and planning the year in advance. He’s ok with waiting to do laundry, living in the moment, and making plans day to day. One thing I’ve always remembered that stood out amongst all the self-help books was the word “compromise.” Relationships are simply, compromising. I think the challenging part lies in the fine line between feeling like you’re settling to avoid conflict/a fight and then feeling happy to “give in” because their happiness means more to you, at least in that moment. We have similarities and we have differences. We won’t always agree, and that’s okay. The difference I know now that I didn’t know then is that compromising doesn’t mean being unhappy. It’s choosing to listen without judgment and deciding to be open to what they have to say. It’s listening to their needs and wants, desires and what will make them happy. It’s wanting to do it... because they matter. One of us wanted to hike and the other wanted to go to the course. We compromised with hiking... by the course

WE

Posted on June 25, 2019 at 12:40 PM Comments comments (3)

Those closest to me know that I’m a bit of a perfectionist and like things done in an orderly fashion, meaning being on time to me means being early. I also like to finish things as soon as the thought arises, such as going out to get a new couch the minute I decide I want one. Whereas, he goes with the flow and lives in the moment. Kind of why I don’t like surprises and he strives on spontaneous memories. Despite our differences, we remind each other that we’re a team and that means working to understand and help the other feel comfortable. Sometimes that means forcing ourselves to be a little more like the other and other times, it means respecting the other’s needs for things going the way they’d like. Above all, when stressed, nervous or anxious, which I tend to become easily, he uses “We” statements. Such as, “we” will be ok. “We” will figure it out. It’s important to find someone that never causes you to feel alone in your pain, worries and even responsibilities. Love isn’t I’ll do this if you. It’s not, you owe me because. It’s accepting that you don’t own anyone and they don’t own you. You’re a team, a partnership and that means equally being there to help keep the other one up, happy and feeling weightless. #neversettle

Hard on Ourselves

Posted on June 20, 2019 at 4:05 PM Comments comments (0)

We’re so hard on ourselves. I hear it often. From people I know, from strangers around the world who message me on my blog. We don’t give ourselves enough credit. Sometimes, only when you look back, you’ll realize how far you have come.


Appreciate the past, but focus on today's opportunities and not yesterday's mistakes. You can create whatever you want in this life we’ve been blessed with. So, today, don’t decrease the goal, increase the effort. You can. End of story. #tbt

 

Full CIRCLE Moments

Posted on June 18, 2019 at 7:45 PM Comments comments (1)


IN CONNECTION to my previous post on full circles ➡️ ⭕️ After going through a really challenging breakup, there was this guy. We met through mutual friends and though we were often around one another, it meant nothing at the time. The same week I was dumped, I realized I had an extra ticket to a Zac Brown Concert. I decided to ask this guy if he wanted to come with me as friends. He said yes. The chemistry was undeniable between us, but dating was so far from my thoughts at that time. I had just gone through hell. There was no way I’d open up to anyone again, or so I thought. Fast forward to a few weeks after, he asked me to consider taking him seriously in the dating matter. I panicked and said I think we should remain friends. He was really hurt and saddened, because he felt we had a strong bond. Fast forward to 4 years later... after 4 years of me staying single, working on myself, dating many weirdos, and reading a lot. My focus on healing during those 4 years had many ups and downs. I did things that seemed out of character, but later realized it was part of a journey to help me learn my worth and also, find what I not only wanted, but needed. 4 years after saying no to this guy, my best friend was getting married and made it clear that he was going to be my date. I didn’t really have an option. So, he was and that night, we shared our first kiss. We soon realized, the feelings never left. Ironically, 2 days later I left out of the country for 3 weeks. We texted each day and while at my family’s vacation home, while looking out at cows, feeling at peace, I had my aha moment- an epiphany. It was him all along. It was always him! He’s my full circle. I texted him, “When I come home, I want to give us a shot again.” Remember, your journey isn’t meant to look like everyone else’s. Have faith that it’s all part of a grand plan. #trusttheprocess

Full CIRCLE Moments.

Posted on June 18, 2019 at 7:45 PM Comments comments (0)



If you’ve been reading my writing throughout the years- you’d know my fascination with things coming full circle. I’ve always admired the idea of things making sense, that “aha” moment we all want so badly. If you’re unfamiliar, a full circle is “a series of developments that lead back to the original source, position, or situation or to a complete reversal of the original position.” My search for full circles were developed after reading a book by @thesinglewoman where she shared, “When life brings you full circle, pay attention. There’s a lesson there.” As a person that seeks answers, reasonings and justifications to why everything and anything had to happen, this quote resonated with me. �� ��‍♀️ Full Circles are a magical, awakening moment. We’re often told, “It’ll make sense why it had to happen one day.” When in pain, it’s very challenging to accept this truth. When you’re sad, all you want to feel is good, now. Waiting for that day, moment or time in your life seems so mundane when all you do is feel sadness, lost, and confused. Whether you’re going through a breakup, separation, divorce, job loss, trying to get pregnant, etc... as cliche as it sounds, I know it’ll make sense one day why you had to wait. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but someday... the stars will align and the puzzle will connect and you will look back and realize you had the pieces all along. The pieces, which are the experiences you’re going through that are needed to somehow, in the most abstract way, click and create YOUR destiny. The journey may not go as you’d like and it may feel so frustrating at times. Wondering when will be your chance, your moment. It can be a long road and it can feel lonely at times. You may feel like giving up at times, but I ask you to stay hopeful. Positive your time will come. Things will always come full circle. It’s just trusting that when it does, you’ll be ready to accept the lesson.


Do it for you.

Posted on June 18, 2019 at 7:45 PM Comments comments (0)


I hope whatever action you’re taking, whether it’s going to school, applying for a job, working out.... I hope it’s all for you. Maybe you’re doing it to support your family, for the dream house you want or to be able to travel more. That’s wonderful- pinpointing your dreams helps us see the bigger picture. However, I just hope that whatever your dream is, you remember you have to want it for yourself, first. Remember that the reason you’re doing it should be to make your life better... not to satisfy someone else’s idea or dream. Self-love is a process. �� That includes realizing your individual worth. Keep going.

Rss_feed