|Posted on June 6, 2017 at 3:45 PM||comments (0)|
I received an email last week from a follower who was having trouble dating. Her problem wasn't that she couldn't find anyone, but that for the life of her, she couldn't let people in. After exchanging a few emails, I realized what could possibly be the "problem." She had her guard up. She'd been hurt before and after knowing what it felt like to be broken before, she was always careful to avoid coming close to it again. Instead of taking chances and risking drowning in love, she chose to stay near the shore..where the tides are low and she can feel the sand beneath her feet. I think that it's easy to stay close to what we know and that's why we tend to repeat our mistakes, no matter how we much try to avoid them. It's easier to play with what we know, than to explore something new. She felt worried that she may have lost out on good people because of her fear of getting hurt. I could tell she may have been close to loving again before, buts something always led her to slip it like grains of sand through her hands. I think it's okay to be a careful person, but not at the expense of growing. Heartache, experience, and lessons are merely stepping stones that shape us to who we are to become. A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing grows from there. You grow most in the times that you feel the least amount of comfort. Swim away from the shore, my dear. #comfort #therapy #water
|Posted on June 1, 2017 at 2:15 AM||comments (0)|
I went on a hike yesterday. Just a few weeks ago, all the flowers had just bloomed and the trail was bright and beautiful. When I went yesterday, everything had died. It was evident that it hadn’t rained…leaving everything to die. It made me realize how quickly we can let things, like relationships, suffer or flourish. Think of this. Each time you take their call, you're letting air in. Each time they disrespect you, hurt you and disregard your feelings- you vow you're done. You announce that you're moving on, but months later...you're in the same mess. What does it take to be done? I think there's honestly no magic answer other than having no choice. I've been there. Taken someone back over and over and over again. I always wonder why no one around me told me not to. Seriously- no one told me that it was dead. I always wonder if they knew or that they, too, had hope that a miracle would happen. In my book, I talk about how I finally walked away. It wasn't by choice completely. After allowing someone so many chances, over and over again, I didn't realize I was basically aiding them to think a little less of me each time. You see, the more chances you give someone who clearly doesn't give a shit about your feelings, the less they respect you. They may say they care, but what have their actions shown you? Actions speak, babe. Years later, I'm so grateful for all that has occurred to help me know it was dead. You see, walking away isn't something that's supposed to be easy when you don't want to walk away. Get that out of your head. Walking away, having self-control and the will power to say no more is a choice only you can make to trusting that something down the line will be better for you. It is VERY difficult to do. It's not supposed to feel good or right and you're supposed to want to try more, but when something is dead, you're just choosing not to see reality. That my friend, is suffocating yourself. I promise that what is on the other side of the mountain is so much greater than anything you’re leaving behind in the dust.
|Posted on May 22, 2017 at 4:00 PM||comments (0)|
|Posted on April 19, 2017 at 7:20 PM||comments (0)|
|Posted on January 18, 2017 at 4:50 PM||comments (0)|
Throughout high school and college, I suffered from severe anxiety attacks when it came to #publicspeaking. I avoided it at all cost, even dropping out of classes to avoid my fears. I even had my therapist write a letter to my professors so that I could avoid them. (Extreme, I know) Nonetheless, I'm still working extremely hard to overcome my fear. I think that with anything in life, the more you avoid things..the more challenging they become. I think it goes the same for love. No matter how hurt you've been, you can't avoid love. The more you avoid it, the more difficult it becomes when you're confronted with the opportunity. For the longest time, when I'd date, I was like a wall. Guys would talk to me and I'd stare back with hardly any emotion. Truth is, I built a wall to guard and protect myself. Problem is that it did nothing for me, other than hinder me from possibly meeting a great person and even avoiding growth. I think that in life, you can't avoid the inevitable. You've got to put yourself out there and try more, because at the end of the day... what's going to happen, will. Showing up is the most difficult part, but you have to. #effort #growth
|Posted on January 12, 2017 at 5:15 PM||comments (0)|
I've found that growth is uniquely defined person to person. For some, it's growth financially and for others it is happiness. As a 27 year old, I've found that twenties are a lot of soul-searching, path taking and most of all, about choices. Every single choice we make has some sort of effect on us- whether we'd like to admit it, there's consequences, good and bad for each. I spent a majority of my early twenties tied to one focus. That effected my ability to grow into any other aspect because is all I cared about. In my mid-twenties, I focused a lot on healing, reflecting on my past, my youth and finding me. That journey has probably been the most gratifying since and also, the most painful. I shed a lot of tears, lost a lot of people and also grew as a person- individually. I basically shed a layer of skin and grew stronger and can say I'm 150% a different person. That's crazy! Today, I'm 27 and still learning, growing and hoping to evolve. I'm much more aware of who I am than I did at 25. Two years alone made a difference. I'm so happy with all the paths, choices and routes so far. They weren't always fun in the moments and didn't always make sense, but thank the gods that I had the faith to see something bigger than just that day. You're worth so much than what you're currently dealing with and I believe you're capable and will do more. So, trust me when I say that you do not have to succumb to growth. Yes, it's painful. Yes, it's challenging. Yes, you'll lose, overcome, feel, gravitate and long for- but I promise you'll also learn to let go, stand tall on your own, rely on no one for your happiness and smile. My greatest accomplishment today has been the ability to sit in my own thoughts. I know so many people who cannot and it's ok, their time will come too. There is no greater day than that which you realize you're amazingly powerful.
|Posted on October 25, 2016 at 6:05 PM||comments (1)|
Everyday we have the choice to be happy. For a short time, several years ago, I went to therapy and asked my therapist, "How do I become happy?" I thought there was a secret method that no one shared and all those people who were smiling, knew it. Long story short, he helped me realize how simple it was. It truly came down to me making a choice every single day. I don't cry much, anymore. It kind of feels weird that sometimes I crave a good cry. I realized it's not because I'm SO happy or that I'm not sad, it's because I've found something good in everyday. Our wounds, our past and our failures are not us. It's our character, attitude and passion that makes us who we are. Never let a bad situation take away that YOU that everyone adores so much. I'm here for you. X
|Posted on July 25, 2016 at 4:55 PM||comments (0)|
I’m all about moving forward in life and looking forward to what the future will bring you. However, I think it is important to look back- so you can see how far you’ve come. Sometimes we feel stuck where we are, forgetting how far we’ve come. I read a blog this morning I wrote on August 9, 2011. I wrote, “I held myself back, protected, and guarded from encounters with others who could be potential heartbreaks. People who could harm me.” Today, I’m a little different. Sure, I am still super hesitant- that may never change about me. However, I’ve taken more risk, more chances and more opportunities to grow, despite knowing at any time I could come tumbling down.
Life is not necessarily about the outcome- 95% of life is just SHOWING UP. Had I not let go of fears then, I would not have been able to write a blog about meeting someone who brought out the “fearless, crazy, spontaneous side of me.” Today, I rely on my own inner strength to take the plunge. You cannot let the UNKNOWN outcome of what could, may, or should happen affect the choice to show up. Everything happens for a reason.
So, love, don’t let the fear of falling on your face prevent you from showing up. Even if you end up face down, you’re further from where you started. Swing life away….
|Posted on March 23, 2016 at 1:45 AM||comments (0)|
|Posted on February 27, 2016 at 2:00 AM||comments (0)|
I'm fortunate to live a few miles away from some of the most beautiful beaches. You can learn a lot from people, yourself and life there. It's nice to observe others or better yet, observe yourself- where you are in your life, mentally. Sometimes when I go to the beach, I like to lay on my back and close my eyes. I enjoy feeling the warm sand below me and hearing the waves crash against the shore, knowing that it'll continue to hit the shore again. It's so rare, yet so beautiful. It's kind of like those special people that not don't come around often but no matter how much you push them away, they're there for you. Looking at the water makes me realize we take so much for granted, clean water, sunny skies and fresh air. So why do we push away the ones who don't take us for granted? Is it fear, pride or not knowing their worth? Take advantage of being able to tell the ones you love you love them while you can because nothing in life is promised and I'd hate for you to watch something wash away just because you took it for granted.