|Posted on April 19, 2017 at 7:20 PM||comments (0)|
|Posted on January 18, 2017 at 4:50 PM||comments (0)|
Throughout high school and college, I suffered from severe anxiety attacks when it came to #publicspeaking. I avoided it at all cost, even dropping out of classes to avoid my fears. I even had my therapist write a letter to my professors so that I could avoid them. (Extreme, I know) Nonetheless, I'm still working extremely hard to overcome my fear. I think that with anything in life, the more you avoid things..the more challenging they become. I think it goes the same for love. No matter how hurt you've been, you can't avoid love. The more you avoid it, the more difficult it becomes when you're confronted with the opportunity. For the longest time, when I'd date, I was like a wall. Guys would talk to me and I'd stare back with hardly any emotion. Truth is, I built a wall to guard and protect myself. Problem is that it did nothing for me, other than hinder me from possibly meeting a great person and even avoiding growth. I think that in life, you can't avoid the inevitable. You've got to put yourself out there and try more, because at the end of the day... what's going to happen, will. Showing up is the most difficult part, but you have to. #effort #growth
|Posted on January 12, 2017 at 5:15 PM||comments (0)|
I've found that growth is uniquely defined person to person. For some, it's growth financially and for others it is happiness. As a 27 year old, I've found that twenties are a lot of soul-searching, path taking and most of all, about choices. Every single choice we make has some sort of effect on us- whether we'd like to admit it, there's consequences, good and bad for each. I spent a majority of my early twenties tied to one focus. That effected my ability to grow into any other aspect because is all I cared about. In my mid-twenties, I focused a lot on healing, reflecting on my past, my youth and finding me. That journey has probably been the most gratifying since and also, the most painful. I shed a lot of tears, lost a lot of people and also grew as a person- individually. I basically shed a layer of skin and grew stronger and can say I'm 150% a different person. That's crazy! Today, I'm 27 and still learning, growing and hoping to evolve. I'm much more aware of who I am than I did at 25. Two years alone made a difference. I'm so happy with all the paths, choices and routes so far. They weren't always fun in the moments and didn't always make sense, but thank the gods that I had the faith to see something bigger than just that day. You're worth so much than what you're currently dealing with and I believe you're capable and will do more. So, trust me when I say that you do not have to succumb to growth. Yes, it's painful. Yes, it's challenging. Yes, you'll lose, overcome, feel, gravitate and long for- but I promise you'll also learn to let go, stand tall on your own, rely on no one for your happiness and smile. My greatest accomplishment today has been the ability to sit in my own thoughts. I know so many people who cannot and it's ok, their time will come too. There is no greater day than that which you realize you're amazingly powerful.
|Posted on October 25, 2016 at 6:05 PM||comments (1)|
Everyday we have the choice to be happy. For a short time, several years ago, I went to therapy and asked my therapist, "How do I become happy?" I thought there was a secret method that no one shared and all those people who were smiling, knew it. Long story short, he helped me realize how simple it was. It truly came down to me making a choice every single day. I don't cry much, anymore. It kind of feels weird that sometimes I crave a good cry. I realized it's not because I'm SO happy or that I'm not sad, it's because I've found something good in everyday. Our wounds, our past and our failures are not us. It's our character, attitude and passion that makes us who we are. Never let a bad situation take away that YOU that everyone adores so much. I'm here for you. X
|Posted on July 25, 2016 at 4:55 PM||comments (0)|
I’m all about moving forward in life and looking forward to what the future will bring you. However, I think it is important to look back- so you can see how far you’ve come. Sometimes we feel stuck where we are, forgetting how far we’ve come. I read a blog this morning I wrote on August 9, 2011. I wrote, “I held myself back, protected, and guarded from encounters with others who could be potential heartbreaks. People who could harm me.” Today, I’m a little different. Sure, I am still super hesitant- that may never change about me. However, I’ve taken more risk, more chances and more opportunities to grow, despite knowing at any time I could come tumbling down.
Life is not necessarily about the outcome- 95% of life is just SHOWING UP. Had I not let go of fears then, I would not have been able to write a blog about meeting someone who brought out the “fearless, crazy, spontaneous side of me.” Today, I rely on my own inner strength to take the plunge. You cannot let the UNKNOWN outcome of what could, may, or should happen affect the choice to show up. Everything happens for a reason.
So, love, don’t let the fear of falling on your face prevent you from showing up. Even if you end up face down, you’re further from where you started. Swing life away….
|Posted on March 23, 2016 at 1:45 AM||comments (0)|
|Posted on February 27, 2016 at 2:00 AM||comments (0)|
I'm fortunate to live a few miles away from some of the most beautiful beaches. You can learn a lot from people, yourself and life there. It's nice to observe others or better yet, observe yourself- where you are in your life, mentally. Sometimes when I go to the beach, I like to lay on my back and close my eyes. I enjoy feeling the warm sand below me and hearing the waves crash against the shore, knowing that it'll continue to hit the shore again. It's so rare, yet so beautiful. It's kind of like those special people that not don't come around often but no matter how much you push them away, they're there for you. Looking at the water makes me realize we take so much for granted, clean water, sunny skies and fresh air. So why do we push away the ones who don't take us for granted? Is it fear, pride or not knowing their worth? Take advantage of being able to tell the ones you love you love them while you can because nothing in life is promised and I'd hate for you to watch something wash away just because you took it for granted.
|Posted on February 19, 2016 at 12:25 AM||comments (0)|
|Posted on February 19, 2016 at 12:25 AM||comments (0)|
I'm not an easy person to impress- never have been. I think this is particularly do to my uncle treating me like a princess growing up. When I say princess, I don't mean spoiling me. I mean opening doors, complimenting me, remembering special dates and making me feel safe. He always says, "You're so sweet, but you're a tough cookie." It's true. I often hear from people, "I wouldn't want to see you mad." Not because I'm an angry person, but because I'm a happy person. I have a lot of patience for some things, but I also have none for bullshit. I used to be a pushover and just take things thrown my way, but not anymore. I haven't been for some time now. I stopped living for others and that made all the difference. The other day, a friend asked, "What's your perfect guy like?" Truth be told, there's no such thing as perfect. We all know this. But the closest type of person I can think of is sung about in Dierk Bentley's song, "Riser." He says he's a fighter, "mean enough to stare your demons down." I love that. I've put a LOT of walls up- after being fucked over from others, this tends to happen. You do anything to protect yourself, your soul. I'm very stubborn about this and who I let in, so I really need someone who's able to put me in my place, because sometimes I need it. We all do. Someone who's not going to give up on us, who'll continue to try and who's a "trier."
Listen to the song. Figure out what you need. Don't settle.
|Posted on January 30, 2016 at 11:00 AM||comments (0)|
"The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, "If you will take care of me, I will take care of you." Now I daycare "I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me."